We get it, you don’t want to just copy the habits of rich people, you want to live like a rich person. We know — you want to be a billionaire, so f*****g bad, buy all of the things you never had. We do too. But you can’t do it just sitting there, you have to put some effort in.
Travie McCoy wrote his song about becoming a billionaire because, hey, inflation. But for many people, being a millionaire is still good enough. There are lots of ways to become a millionaire. Some are easy, some are fast and some are fun, but not too many are all three.
Let’s look at a few.
1. Marry a Millionaire
People think this is easy and fast, but it isn’t. It’s easier and faster than starting a business, building it up and earning it on your own, but you can’t marry a millionaire overnight.
First, you have to target some millionaires. Where do you find them? Luckily, today, with the proliferation of information online, it’s easy and quick. Sugardaddy.org lists the 10 best websites to find a sugar daddy. Many of these sites also host pages for those in search of sugar mamas — no discrimination here. Some of these arrangements are expected to be superficial and temporary, but lots of relationships start out that way. It all depends on your powers of persuasion.
That being said, it is understood, of course, that part of your power will lie in your physical beauty. To get a rich person to marry and support you, you must be beautiful. If that involves plastic surgery and a few hours a day at the gym, then consider that an investment in your future. Keep in mind that a lot of millionaires are smart and may ask you to sign a prenup, which is really only fair. In these arrangements, you can only live the lifestyle of the rich and famous as long as you are married to the person and holding up your end of the bargain (eg., no eating chips and donuts, and no cheating with someone young and attractive).
This is most commonly done in the form of buying lottery tickets, and it’s one of the fastest ways to become a millionaire. It’s practically instantaneous — but it isn’t easy. Many people buy extra tickets when a jackpot gets big, thinking that will help their odds of winning. And it does. But by such a small amount, it’s statistically insignificant. Imagine your odds of winning are like blades of grass on a football field. If you get two blades, you double your chances. But they’re still infinitesimal. Some people win big at casinos. But most don’t. Slot machines are popular because everyone loves to see one payout, all those coins spilling out, lights flashing, sound effects. But the odds of winning are low. In fact, the odds of someone winning are high; the odds of it being you are low. If you want to win at gambling, the best thing to do is to play a game with some strategy involved, like blackjack or poker. But you have to be really great at it and win a lot of times to become a millionaire.
3. Invent Something
The catch: It has to be something people want. It doesn’t have to be good or useful, it just has to be popular. Remember Cabbage Patch Kids? Take a look at these 25 inventions that made their creators millions of dollars. You can see that some of these concepts were probably conceived by people who stayed up too late thinking outside the box. So that actually may be a step in the process. If so, that would make inventing something one of the best ways to become a millionaire.
4. Invest in a Company That Becomes Successful
This is a little like having a 401(k), except on a grander scale. With a 401(k), you choose your level of risk and someone else decides for you what your money will be invested in, and you usually make money, although not often a million dollars. To make a million dollars investing, you have to put a lot into a company so that your returns are big. It’s true you could have made a million dollars buying a few shares of the original AT&T stock, but you would have had to wait a long time — close to a hundred years. You would have had to spend the money on a nursing home.
You could research investment opportunities online, you could court smart people with ideas and no money, a la Shark Tank, or you could bankroll your cousin’s empanada truck — the format doesn’t matter; it only matters that they succeed. And that they give you your money.
5. Buy Bitcoin
I don’t understand what this even is, only that people claim to be getting rich with it. Is it legitimate? No one knows. We don’t know if investing in bitcoin will make you a millionaire, but if it does, it’s as easy as a few mouse clicks.
6. Get Famous
It doesn’t matter how or why, for good or bad, most famous people have more money than the average Joe. Are famous people famous because they have money? Sometimes. And this is the paradox — if being famous makes you rich but you can’t get famous without money, how can you ever get there?
It’s true that it’s easier if you’re born a Kardashian or Hilton. Then you can get cosmetic surgery to buy the beauty that God stingily withheld from you at your birth, and you can be on your way. Because photographers love to take pictures of beautiful people doing exciting things like relaxing on a yacht. We’ll now give you the short list of ways to become famous.
Become a YouTube sensation.
Get a spot on a reality TV show like The Bachelor.
Be friends with famous people.
Become an actor or a singer.
Be a successful athlete.
Run for office and win.
Do something unbelievable so that everyone will look at you.
7. Save Up
It’s important to note that they had always been good savers and at the time they launched their plan already had a ton of money in their 401(k). Also, after analyzing their lifestyle and expenses, they determined they — and their two kids — could live on $24,000 a year. (!)
You can always find a story about a family like this in a magazine on the rack at the grocery checkout. They clip coupons and manage to eat on $5 a week, get their clothes from dumpsters and watch TV through their neighbors’ windows for entertainment. Do you really want to become a millionaire this way? Is it worth the pain and indignity?
Suppose you launched a reasonable plan in which you saved for 20 years by being careful and eventually amassed a million dollars. What then? Continue to spend judiciously in order to be safe and ration it? Where’s the fun in that?
The median household income in the U.S. is $56,516. At this salary, with no raises, you would earn a million dollars in 20 years. But you don’t have the money. Because you needed to live. So a million dollars is not just a number on a piece of paper. It’s freedom and excitement and fun.
8. Work Hard
We put this one last because it’s the least fun, and it’s not the easiest way to become a millionaire. The odds of success are greater than playing the lottery, and the return on investment is more satisfying. But it is, of course, hard. And it’s not guaranteed. Billions of people work hard all the time and barely survive. You have to have a good idea and some luck too. But the fact remains that if you have these two things and you don’t work hard, you probably won’t get there.
It’s true, sometimes you can get something for nothing. But not usually. And when you do get something for nothing, it’s often just an illusion, or it’s outright bad or dangerous. So beware. And be smart.
These are our eight top ways to become a millionaire. We didn’t include anything illegal. Those strategies do sometimes work, but we don’t think they’re worth the risk.
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